Why is Dating SOOOO Hard?!

Let us be honest. Dating is hard.

Dating can feel like riding the world’s worst emotional rollercoaster. One moment you are thrilled because they texted back with a lame smiley face. The next moment you are spiraling because it has been three hours and the read receipt is on.

And then there is that gut-punch realization: Am I dating the same person over and over again? Different face, same storyline.

Or the internal debate every time the “What are we?” conversation creeps up, because defining the relationship feels both necessary and terrifying. Sheesh just writing about this I remember all to clearly how nerve-racking this all is!

Here is the truth. Dating is not only about finding the right person.

It is a mirror, one that reflects your attachment patterns, your communication habits, and the tender spots where self-worth likes to hide.

Attachment: If you find yourself glued to your phone waiting for a response or panicking when things feel too serious, that is not you being needy or cold. It is your nervous system doing what it has always done to keep you safe.

Communication: Have you ever held back what you truly wanted to say because you did not want to scare them off? Or gone silent because it felt easier than dealing with the awkwardness? Yes, that is a pattern too.

Self-Worth: The hardest part? Realizing how much your sense of value depends on whether someone chooses you. That one stings.

Dating will show you your patterns, the beautiful parts and the messy ones. And while that can feel uncomfortable and even unfair, it is also where growth happens.

You are not broken for struggling. You are human. And the more you understand these patterns, the more you can step off the rollercoaster and into relationships that feel steady, safe, and real.

If you are ready to explore these patterns in a deeper way, therapy can help. Not the kind where you simply talk about your week and show your therpaist the new guy you’re seeing (which don’t get me wrong - we love!), but an approach that works with your nervous system and your inner parts.

Through methods like EMDR and Internal Family Systems, we can help your body and mind feel safe enough to create new patterns.

If this resonates with you, I would love to explore what this work could look like together.

Click here to set up a free intro call!

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