Permission to Be: What Mr. Rogers Knew About Love
Love Shouldn't Require Shrinking or Stretching
Somewhere along the way, a lot of us got the message—spoken or unspoken—that to be loved, we needed to be less of something (because we are too loud, too sensitive, or too emotional), or more of something else (more accommodating, more fun, more “easygoing”).
It’s no wonder so many of us became emotional chameleons—reading the room, blending in, quieting our edges to keep the peace. Leaving nervous systems with the memo early in life that we stay safe by staying small, agreeable, or easy. So we adapted. Over and over again. We learned to tuck parts of ourselves away like out-of-season clothes, only bringing out the “right” version depending on who was in the room.
We become what feels safe to others… and slowly drift from what feels like home in ourselves.
But Mr. Rogers—my childhood hero in that iconic red cardigan—said it best:
“Knowing that we can be loved exactly as we are gives us all the best opportunity for growing into the healthiest of people.”
(And if you’re reading this and need a Daniel Tiger reference instead—his animated heir—you can hear him singing it: “You can be a big help in your family... just by being you.”)
The truth is, real love—soul-nourishing, steady kind of love—starts when we stop contorting and start embodying. When we come home to ourselves instead of editing ourselves.
This doesn’t mean we stop growing or reflecting. Growth doesn’t come from self-abandonment—it comes from the safety of self-acceptance. And being “authentic” isn’t about being loud or raw or always saying what’s on your mind—it’s about being whole.
You do not have to shrink, stretch, filter, edit, and present only the parts that felt “likeable” to be loved.
The kind of love that is worth keeping? It is the kind that wants the real you.
And if you are not quite sure who that is anymore—hey, that is okay too. This is your invitation to come home.
