You’re doing everything right.

Career? Crushing it.
Family? Showing up, always.
Goals? Check, check, and planning the next one.

From the outside, you're a walking LinkedIn success story—productive, present, even inspiring!

But on the inside? You're exhausted. Flat. Irritated by emails. Dreading your calendar. Wondering when the thing you used to love started to feel like a group project you didn’t sign up for.

If that sounds familiar, you are not broken. You are likely burnt out. And you definitely are not alone.

One of the sneakiest things about burnout is that it often doesn’t show up in people who are slacking off. It shows up in those who care deeply.

It tiptoes in while you’re still saying yes to everything, still doing the most, still powering through because… well, that’s what you’ve always done. I know, because I’ve been there. More than once, actually. At this point, I could probably write a dissertation on burnout—based purely on lived experience. Finding myself caught in seasons where I was so focused on helping, supporting, and outcomes that I didn’t realize I was running on fumes until I was already halfway through the crash.

The strivers, the caregivers, the over-deliverers. People who have a part of them that says, “Just keep pushing. You can’t slow down now.” Or maybe “This person or thing is just really important!” And often, that voice sounds very convincing.

What helped me recover (and keeps helping me stay grounded) is learning how to extend to myself the same compassion I so naturally offer others.

Kristen Neff, a researcher on self-compassion, talks about three key elements:

Mindfulness: acknowledging your pain without exaggerating or minimizing it
Common humanity: knowing you’re not alone in your struggle
Self-kindness: responding to yourself with care rather than criticism

Simple, but not easy—especially when we have internalized the belief that pushing harder is the answer to everything.

And here’s the truth: being hard on yourself might get results in the short term, but over time, it drains your joy, your creativity, and your health. It disconnects you from the very reasons you started doing the thing in the first place. It disconnects you from you.

All of this sounds lovely in theory—but in practice, self-compassion doesn’t stand a chance without everyone’s least favorite word.

Boundaries—yes, those tricky things we know we should set but often don’t—are also essential here. Many of us jolt at the idea of setting a boundary, but boundaries aren’t walls; they are bridges to better relationships with others and with ourselves. They protect our time, energy, and peace. Saying “no” (or even “not right now”) can be one of the kindest and most compassionate things you do for your well-being.

If you are feeling crispy around the edges, I encourage you to reflect on these questions:

·       What am I saying yes to out of guilt or fear, not genuine desire?

·       What needs of mine keep getting pushed to the bottom of the list?

·       Where am I over-functioning or people-pleasing in ways that leave me empty?

Sometimes burnout is about overworking. But sometimes it is about over-caring. Over-responsibility. Over-identifying with being "the one who holds it all together." And if that is you, I just want to say: I see you.

You are not weak. You are not failing. You are probably long overdue for someone to care for you the way you have been caring for everyone else.

Therapy can be one place to do that— a safe place to untangle the shoulds from the wants, the roles from the real you, the exhaustion from your being. But healing from burnout might also mean things like:

·       Resting without earning it.

·       Reworking your relationship with productivity.

·       Letting things be "good enough."

·       Taking yourself seriously when your body whispers, “I’m tired,” instead of waiting for it to scream.

So if you’re reading this and nodding along with a lump in your throat or a sinking feeling in your gut—maybe it’s not a coincidence. Maybe there is a part inside you asking for your attention. Asking to be cared for. Asking for space.

You don’t have to do it alone. Whether it is through therapy, boundaries, self-compassion, or all of the above—there is a way back to yourself.